Mark Dice : Donald Trump’s Funniest Insults and Comebacks

Donald Trump’s funnest moments from the 2016 campaign. A compilation of his best insults, comebacks, and statements. Not only is he rich and smart, but he’s also funny as heck too. Here’s the funniest things Trump has said about the media, Hillary Clinton, and his critics.

I’m a supporter of President Donald Trump. While I respect the man completely, I can’t help getting a few good laughs out of some of the things he says on the air.

Just a few random thoughts

Well, the kids woke me up at 3:00 am this morning wanting to be fed. They used to wait until at least 6 to wake me up. I wonder where I lost control over this aspect of my life. For quite some time the kids woke me up at 6 am. Not one minute before or one minute after. They woke me up at 6 on the nose. I have a wrist watch that receives the time signal from the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado. According to it’s manual, the watch is supposed to be completely accurate to one billionth of a second a year. The only things I know of that are more accurate than this watch are Misty and Johnny’s stomaches.

This was the third night in a row with only 3 hours a night sleep. For a long time I took Ambien CR to get me to sleep. Now, all of a sudden, rhe insurance company will no longer cover Ambien CR. So the doctor prescribed a new sleep aid called Belsomera. OMG!!! He should have told me that I was going to have major nightmare for the first 3 or 4 or even 5 nights. I literally kicked Misty off the couch. I launched her across the room. Johnny was the smart one to sleep up on the back of the couch. He was out of my reach.

Then, to add insult to injury, the guy who ripped off my Iphone and my jewelery, actually came back 2 nights in a row trying to play games with me. He said that he could return the jewelery, and he acted like he had it in his pocket. After a while he tells me that the jewelery is at some police impound area, and that he had to go pick them up. I told him to go get them, just to see what he would do. He went off to the police department then he didn’t come back for 3 days.

Yesterday this guy showed up at my door, and he was really kinda pushy about trying to get inside. I told him that I wasn’t going to let him in. Told him that I was done playing games. I said either return my property and leave. He took off again and I haven’t seen him since. Can’t say that it hurts my feelings any. I’m not going to get my jewelery back which is not a big deal. One of the wrist watches he took was a Fossil chrono style gold toned watch valued at around $169.00 retail. The other wrist watch and the two rings he took weren’t worth $8.00 together. It was cheap junk jewelery.

The last few days were just plain boring. All of my favorite channels on cable tv are showing 24 hour marathons of Star Trek Voyager. I like the show, but I don’t want to watch it 24/7 on 3 channels for 3 full days. So, I watch what I can find. The news is pretty much nothing but Trump and the Russians. Hillary Clinton is another major pain in the ass that I would like to see go away forever. Trump won, Hillary lost, end of story, learn to live with it.

Such is life…

The Trump Presidency

I’m directing this post to those pathetic snowflakes who are suffering from severe Trump Derangement Syndrome. You’ve whined and cried because Donald Trump was elected. You’ve even screamed at the sky. Did it help? Somehow I doubt it.

The fact of the matter is that Donald Trump was elected as the President of the United States, and it’s time to put all of this behind you and get on with your lives. Enjoy. President Trump is doing a great job handling things in DC. Oh yeah, one more thing. Please, please, please quit horrifying your kids with all of this anti-Trump bullshit. They are too young to understand that their parents are having a totally ridiculous nervous breakdown over absolutely nothing.

I’m getting really tired of all of this false press that is being heaped on our President, the most recent being that President Trump is mentally ill and not fit to command. Nothing could be further from the truth! Our President is completely sane. Just look at what has happened so far.

  • The gross domestic product was revised upward to 3.3% according to the Commerce Department. President Obama never had one single year of his presidency with a 3.0% GDP.
  • Unemployment is at a 17 year low according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
  • 261,000 new jobs were created in October of 2017.
  • Manufacturing jobs created are up to 8.7% according to the National Association of Realtors.

Furthermore, yesterday the stock market closed at over 24,000 points. This was a first in the history of the stock market.

I am a Trump supporter. One evening I was sitting around with some friends when I made a prediction that made several of them laugh at me. I said that I had no doubt that Donald Trump would run for president. These guys didn’t believe that I actually said it. Three months later, Trump announced his intentions to run for President. When I predicted that Trump would be elected President, I think they really thought I was crazy.

It’s been almost a year and the markets are in better shape than they have ever been. Need I say any more? The Trump Presidency has been good to us so far.